Stand Up Journey: Out of the frying pan and into the fire

Mike Cronin has done his first open mic…sort of

While the flyer may have said “open mic” they were slightly off, really this was an “Open Audition” which if you’ve ever had to do an audition is a bit of a different animal. Because now, you aren’t facing a crowd out to have some free entertainment, you’re looking at three to four people who are there for one purpose: judging your worth. Or at least that’s how it’s supposed to work.

idol judges

       I still have no idea what she did.

But I wasn’t about to backdown, in fact I felt a little more comfortable. I’ve done plays and musicals for years so auditions are not new to me, it’s just awkward as balls doing a stand up for literally three people. And not three drunks in a dimly lit bar, three judges five feet from you in a bright commuter lounge. They had pen and paper you guys, shit was real.

idol judges

       It was the exact opposite of this.  

Surprisingly, the act itself went smoothly. I used some of my favorite jokes I’d written for the show, the one’s that just felt a little more stand-upy. My plan had been to open with the jokes I knew had gotten laughs from people, then work into the stuff I had written just for stand up. Unfortunately, right before I went into the new jokes, I did a “what a great audience!” segue, since you know, there was no actual audience. The judges mistook this as my ending, and since theres nothing worse than saying “no no wait, I’m not done,” I just ended it there.


       The only man allowed to say, “But wait, there’s more!”

So if that was the audition, did I make the show? That’s actually the reason you’re hearing about Sunday night’s activities now, I had to wait for a confirmation email. And ladies and gentleman, the email came earlier today: I somehow managed to wiggle my way into the show. The show being Apollo Night. If you are not familiar with what The Apollo, this clip will pretty much sum everything up for you:

The Apollo is a place where the audience is just dying to kill you, it’s where that trope of the giant cane pulling off a bad performer comes from. This is going to be my first public performance. I was worried about my first gig, which turned out to be not quite a gig, and wound up being put into an actual show featuring seasoned performers (the rest of the acts are bands and dancers) in a set up emulating a theatre that is designed to pummel your face in.


                                     Well, shit. 

But hey, I got in so that must mean I didn’t completely suck, right? And I’ve been working on new jokes, and this will be a strong show so there will be a big audience. On the whole, this is a really great opportunity. Because if I burn, it will be a spectacularly awful moment, one befitting a great chapter in a memoir. And if I do well, then go me; especially if I have the best act of the night, I’ll win $100 (I don’t expect that to happen). Either way though, I get experience or cash, and I could really use either of those at this stage in the game. I’ll be sure to let you guys know how the show went when it’s over on sunday, it should be an interesting read.


One comment

  1. […] about those Boos. As I pointed out in my last blog, Apollo Amateur Nights are basically when people get a chance to eat a performer alive as a […]

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