New Study Finds It’s Your Turn To Do The Goddamn Dishes, Craig

stack-dirty-dishesNEW HAVEN, CT –Researchers have released new findings that reveal something that many thought impossible: it’s your freaking turn to clean the dishes, Craig. Independent experts agree that the dishes ratio of 95:5 is unhealthy for apartment relations.

After careful study of the structural instability of the stack of bowls, cups, and forks, the panel of scientists took little time to come to their conclusion. Incidental evidence such as the fact that Craig’s socks have been on the bathroom floor for weeks and Craig’s inability to turn down the TV after 3 in the morning reportedly did not factor into their judgment, but totally should’ve.

At Press time, the bowl that’s been in the sink for almost a month now is growing some sort of sentient fungus. It also agrees it’s your turn to clean, Craig.


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